Yet to be opened

Mother said not every girl is nice because they have many motives for it, or they are just nice. For years and years I have been avoiding getting close to one, not feeling at all towards them. I hate and pity them on how they think and act. It is so unfavourable to see, that girlish junk of attraction that they want. As I move on and grew older I fought my way through many undoubtedly many very beautiful girls, and was I acknowledge to myself that I could have had end up with them anytime if I wanted to. But I stick to my words that I'll find the one for me for sure and it will be the first and the last. For a fact that I hate having to hurt anybody nor myself, so I waited till its right to have one, to break the barriers; bring the walls down and open up for someone to love. To step into this undesirable world of traps and disappointments as I know that I'm afraid. The mistake I want to avoid, that chance of not having the "first and last'. The very thing that is against my words, contradiction of my passion towards how I'm going to end up with a girl. I keep telling and forcing myself to not play around and take this seriously like the zombie apocalypse is happening. Having to prepare yourself for the worse, to find a partner, a soul mate they say; a wife and a mother to be. Someone with good character and with faith is what I tend to search for. For many reasons I kept on denying many girls that come to me, simply because I think they are incapable and far from my criteria of the lady of my dreams. It is not easy, it is cruel and evil to reject somebody who did nothing wrong, just the pride of ticking to my words. I observed others who say they have been volatile and been through life of having a partner. All I see is sadness that comes afterwards all the fantasies and fake promises that are made.

Well, I'm just a guy full of reasoning, I only listen to valid and argumentable reasoning. Want to shut me up? Give me a reason to.

Then come this one moment in life where there is all the reason to start caring and fancy a girl. A possible verified feeling that pops up out of nowhere, telling my heart that it is time and she is the one. I try to kept it in me keeping the monster away from escaping out into the world, and turning it into reality. and it did. And Yet it is to be opened by this wonderful person, whom spell bind me with the consciousness of dutifulness and the need of her to be in my sight all the time is starting to build up without me realising the fact that its going to get you. Hoping that my heart does not come to a stop, I ignore all the possibilities that this is true, denying what my heart feels.

Hmmm...the pressure will build up, and suddenly BAM! No turning back, I confess and the next thing you know, she opened it and did the impossible.

I reach and hold on to a point where I love a girl. I care for her and worry for her. Everything for her. I'm in a mist of void that I have never done this before, A first timer in loving someone. A first for everything.

The first for her...

I have nothing to say left, I'm just glad I met her and now that I love her, I know her much better and I only hope and work for this to be first and last.

I am finally admitting that this is really happening and its real. Well Done Shafiq haha

See ya
Have a good sleep!